On a Random Tuesday

On a random Tuesday while I was at work, I got a phone call from FF. Bam. There's that gut-wrenching feeling. Now what? Parent T in T readers get this. It's the quaking you experience when you see that the school is calling. It's never good news. 

FF, though, is now 20. The pre-frontal cortex is maturing, doing its thing. He's attending community college classes. And, more importantly, he hasn't had an incident in more than a year and a half. But I know there's always that possibility that something or someone (or he himself) will make him feel belittled and humiliated, that he'll feel boxed in and powerless. So the Mom worries? Still there. 

On this particular random Tuesday, I had dropped him off at his class downtown. On Tuesdays, after class, his peer mentor (PM) picks him up and they go do "guy" things (Buffalo Wild Wings, bowling, video games, walk on campus). The PM and I usually text beforehand, just to verify the pickup. Since this class is downtown and not out at the main campus, you can bet I texted FF after class the first couple of times to be sure pickup went smoothly and they were on their way. But this was 5 weeks into class, so I had faded back and was trusting that all was well.

The call came 30 minutes after class had ended. Uh-oh. But:

FF: Mom?

Me: Yep. Are you okay? Did PM pick you up?

FF: Oh yeah. I'm fine. I'm just calling to let you know PM and I are going to a movie, so we'll be back later. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Okay?

Me: Yes, that's great. Thanks for letting me know. And have a good time. 

FF: Okay bye. 

Three waves of relief here. 1) He's more than fine. He's having a good time. 2) He called to let me know he'd be late. 3) I don't have to see that movie!

Several days later, I checked with him about the call. "Did PM have you call me to let me know you'd be late? That was thoughtful." And the about-left-me-on-the-floor response: "No, I just wanted to call because I knew we wouldn't get back until later than we usually do." Communication, consideration for someone else's feelings, executive function skills. The trifecta!

On that random Tuesday, as I was driving home from work, I realized my son was at a movie, my daughter was staying on campus for something course-related, and I would be headed out to a meeting. Everyone off doing their own thing. I understand that this happens all the time in "normal" families, but it just doesn't happen in ours. 

I could get into this normal family thing. On any random Tuesday.