"What do you like to do?" Son Fickle Fan gets asked that question probably seven to ten times a year, because if you don't know where you're headed career-wise, that's where every employment specialist, disability service provider, potential employer, teacher, and parent starts. That's square one.
Trouble is, that's not where FF is standing. He's not even playing that game anymore. He doesn't believe he should begin looking at what career he'd like to pursue by ticking off the things he likes to do in his spare time. He doesn't think the two things are related. Nor should they be, the way he sees it.
Because here's the thing: FF is concerned that if he chooses from among the things he likes doing, he will no longer like to do them when he's not on the job. And he doesn't want to face that. What if he got a job in filmmaking, but after hours editing a project, or working on a set, he didn't feel he could stomach sitting in a theater to watch the umpteenth version of Transformers in its screen debut? Or what if he became a sports analyst for ESPN, only to discover that he couldn't enjoy tallying the stats and making lists and tables of the top characteristics of the winning pro-football teams that season. Or, heaven forbid, that he wouldn't eagerly anticipate the football draft? It doesn't speak very highly of how he feels about the world of work, does it? In high school some of FF's early career choices were torpedoed naturally as he began exploring and participating in those interests. Football quarterback? Loved working out with the team, but being on the field? Not so much. Cooking? Top Chef was (and continues to be) a must watch. Loved being in cooking classes. But earning minimum wage, working in high stress, tight spaces, and those late hours? Nope. And that's okay. There are a lot of twenty-somethings out there who, somewhere along the line, realized that being a rock god or the next playwright to win a Pulitzer might not actually be a reality. That self-discovery is a part of the process. But for FF it's been more difficult to replace those early career goals with something that might be a little more doable. His only goal now is to complete his required basics toward an associate's degree. Then he wants to obtain a bachelor's at a four-year college somewhere. Why? He can't articulate that. He just knows that's what's expected if you want a good job with a living wage. So for now, he'll meander through the course catalog at the local community college every semester. Little resource side note here. There are two relatively new publications out for teens and families on the process of career preparation and development. The first, from the Department of Labor's Office of Disability Employment Policy, is "Shelly Saves the Future: A Story of Career Development." It's a cartoon/infographic about what an Individualized Learning Plan is and how it can guide and help you toward a career goal. The second is "Understanding the New Vision for Career Development: The Role of the Family," an Info Brief from NCWD/Youth. This one clearly describes the process of career development and what steps families can take to ensure their transition-aged adolescent is making progress. Honestly, though, there's no way FF would have accepted that Role of the Family when he was exploring career goals as a teen. It's still a problem. My mantra throughtout much of his school years: The information and guidance HAS to come from somewhere else, a third party. I don't think we're alone in this. There's a large slice of the ASD population that views any information coming from a parent as highly suspect, worthless, or even toxic. The information in the NCWD/Youth "Understanding the New Vision" guide is still useful; if your family is like ours, though, you may just need to get creative with how some of those tasks get accomplished. For now, we know FF's going to need to choose a path soon, and he'll need help to do that. Our job will be to talk with the placement and career center folks before he meets with them so they understand his perspective and don't open the coversation with that question. You know--the usual question: "So, what do you like to do?"
FF,on the phone in kitchen: "Yes, hello. This is he."
The prearranged morning phone interview with a major big box company gets underway. This is a first. FF usually only talks on the phone with family or people he knows, and then it's brief and to the point. So this should be interesting. Me, listening to his end of the conversation from my mutually agreed upon spot in the living room ("I don't want any distractions, Mom."): Silence, [thump, da thump, da thump...] heart beating. [Good start.] FF: "Okay...okay. Gotcha. I thought this was a seasonal position, for the summer. Oh, okay. Okay. Gotcha." Me: [Gotcha??] FF: "I've done mostly processing. Taking things out of people's cars, and then getting them ready to be categorized and put out on the floor. But I'm looking for my first summer job." Me: [Good answer.] FF: "My strength would be honesty and the weakness is writing. Right. Okay." Me: [Yes! he answered without hesitating and didn't sound embarrassed about it. So far, so good.] FF: "Um, well. I don't really know. Let me check on that. Just a minute." Me: [Uh oh.] FF: Coming into the living room with his hand over the phone."Mom! They want me to give an example of when I've worked in a team situation." Me: "I think you can tell them you've done that at your Restore position." FF: To the interviewer. "I've worked with a team at my volunteer position." Me: "You can tell them that it's the Habitat Restore." FF: "At the Habitat Restore. I've worked with a team of people there." FF: "Oh. Just a moment again. Turning back to me. Mom! Now they want to know if I've ever worked on a team goal. Have I? Me: [So now the interviewer surely knows the status. At this point, I think it would probably be better for FF to tell the interviewer that he has high functioning autism and just explain that he's getting some support during the interview. But FF is not really into full disclosure at this point, so we press on.] "At the Restore you've worked with other volunteers on customer service." FF: "At my volunteer position, I've worked on customer service." Holding the phone away from his face, but this time forgetting to cover the receiver, "Have I ever worked to accomplish multiple goals in a short time?" Realizing who he's talking to now, and back to the phone, "Oh, sorry, just a moment again, I need to ask my mom." Me: [Wracking my brain for something.] Just tell them you can't think of anything right now. FF: "I can't really think of anything now."..."Um." To me. "Can I give them an example of when I've exceeded expectations?"
Me: Knowing full well this is lame, "I think you've done that at the Restore and I think you did that in your public speaking class too." FF: "I think I've exceeded expectations at Habitat and in one of my previous classes." At this point the interviewer asks him if he has any questions. Asking his own question during an interview is something we've prepped him for, but he came up with the question himself. FF: "What would a typical day be like?" Me: [Good job! He sounds interested and engaged.] FF: How many hours a day would I be working? Me: [That's fair.] FF: "What kind of responsibilities would I have on the job?" Me: [Okay, enough with the questions, already!]
I can tell they're beginning to wrap things up. I grab a pen and piece of paper and write, Don't forget to say "Thank you!" FF: "Okay. And thank you for this phone interview and for the opportunity. Okay, gotcha. Bye!" Yes! He's very proud of himself. And I'm proud of him too. He got through it and for the most part he did pretty well. We certainly need to coach him on the types of questions he was asked for which he needed Mom help. But, all in all, for a first one of these screening interviews, in challenging circumstances (on the phone), he did very well. I'm just glad it wasn't a Skype interview. I'm intrigued by the new virtual Job Interview Training software developed by SIMmersion Inc., with a grant from the National Institute for Mental Health. FF has played around with the test version, which you can do for free, but I think it would be good if he could practice some more with "Molly." Will he get called for a face-to-face interview? I wish, but I recognize the reality is probably not. It was pretty evident that he may need on-the-job supports. If he were working with a disability service provider, his job coach or employment specialist would clue-in human resources about FF's abilities and the right job fit for him. We don't have that support, so my dilemma is: Do I intervene and call human resources to explain the situation, hoping they'll at least give him an interview and may even give him an opportunity? (This is a company that's hired other workers with disabilities.) It's a discussion I need to have with FF. For now, he'll wait a week and then we'll talk about follow-up. Me: "Whew!" Need a quick list of tips to prepare your transitionee for a phone interview? Try these Top 9 Tips for Crushing Your Next Phone Interview.
