Career Choice with a Twist: Ducking the Usual Question

"What do you like to do?" 

Son Fickle Fan gets asked that question probably seven to ten times a year, because if you don't know where you're headed career-wise, that's where every employment specialist, disability service provider, potential employer, teacher, and parent starts. That's square one. 

Trouble is, that's not where FF is standing. He's not even playing that game anymore. He doesn't believe he should begin looking at what career he'd like to pursue by ticking off the things he likes to do in his spare time. 

He doesn't think the two things are related. Nor should they be, the way he sees it. 

Because here's the thing: FF is concerned that if he chooses from among the things he likes doing, he will no longer like to do them when he's not on the job. And he doesn't want to face that. 

What if he got a job in filmmaking, but after hours editing a project, or working on a set, he didn't feel he could stomach sitting in a theater to watch the umpteenth version of Transformers in its screen debut? Or what if he became a sports analyst for ESPN, only to discover that he couldn't enjoy tallying the stats and making lists and tables of the top characteristics of the winning pro-football teams that season. Or, heaven forbid, that he wouldn't eagerly anticipate the football draft? 

It doesn't speak very highly of how he feels about the world of work, does it?

In high school some of FF's early career choices were torpedoed naturally as he began exploring and participating in those interests. Football quarterback? Loved working out with the team, but being on the field? Not so much. Cooking? Top Chef was (and continues to be) a must watch. Loved being in cooking classes. But earning minimum wage, working in high stress, tight spaces, and those late hours? Nope. 

And that's okay. There are a lot of twenty-somethings out there who, somewhere along the line, realized that being a rock god or the next playwright to win a Pulitzer might not actually be a reality. That self-discovery is a part of the process. 

But for FF it's been more difficult to replace those early career goals with something that might be a little more doable. His only goal now is to complete his required basics toward an associate's degree. Then he wants to obtain a bachelor's at a four-year college somewhere. Why? He can't articulate that. He just knows that's what's expected if you want a good job with a living wage. So for now, he'll meander through the course catalog at the local community college every semester.

Little resource side note here. There are two relatively new publications out for teens and families on the process of career preparation and development. The first, from the Department of Labor's Office of Disability Employment Policy, is "Shelly Saves the Future: A Story of Career Development." It's a cartoon/infographic about what an Individualized Learning Plan is and how it can guide and help you toward a career goal. The second is "Understanding the New Vision for Career Development: The Role of the Family," an Info Brief from NCWD/Youth. This one clearly describes the process of career development and what steps families can take to ensure their transition-aged adolescent is making progress. Honestly, though, there's no way FF would have accepted that Role of the Family when he was exploring career goals as a teen. It's still a problem. My mantra throughtout much of his school years: The information and guidance HAS to come from somewhere else, a third party. I don't think we're alone in this. There's a large slice of the ASD population that views any information coming from a parent as highly suspect, worthless, or even toxic. The information in the NCWD/Youth "Understanding the New Vision" guide is still useful; if your family is like ours, though, you may just need to get creative with how some of those tasks get accomplished.

For now, we know FF's going to need to choose a path soon, and he'll need help to do that. Our job will be to talk with the placement and career center folks before he meets with them so they understand his perspective and don't open the coversation with that question. You know--the usual question: "So, what do you like to do?"